Tall Tale Thursday: When in Rome, Break the Mold
God has chosen what is insignificant and despised in the world -- what is viewed as nothing -- to bring to nothing what is viewed as something, 29 so that no one may boast in his presence. ~ 1 Co 1:28
“Why Do You Describe Yourself as the Bad Pastor?”
Several people have asked me why I go by “Johnie, the Bad Pastor” online. The simple truth? I don't measure up by most of the usual ways people measure a pastor’s success. This has been frustrating for me. Success doesn’t drive me, but accomplishing important missions does. But my story hasn’t been about fitting into neat boxes or hitting someone else’s benchmarks. It’s about being shaped by Christ—sometimes battered, sometimes inspired—in the subcultures and communities I’ve called home, and the ideas of love and grace that have always kept me moving.
Christ-Built in Subcultures
I lived the first half of my life in the 20th century. I’ll spare you the “back in my day” cringe, but I will say this: I loved coming of age in the early and mid-80s, especially in the post-punk and new wave scenes. These were the parents of alt-rock and goth, the grandparents of grunge. We weren’t just about music or thrift store fashion—we were about tearing down the mainstream and building something new. Our rebellion was local, real, and rooted in the places we lived. We questioned everything, and we built our own stories from the scraps. Our theology was inclusive, and we were eager to look at the text of scripture in light of context and relevancy.
The Military and the Outsider’s Pride
Layered on top of all that was my life as a military brat. Patriotism wasn’t just a bumper sticker but the air I breathed. There’s a strange pride in being part of that world—always moving, constantly adapting, always a little bit of an outsider. It also shapes you in ways you don’t always notice until you try to live outside it. Movies like Say Anything and Red Dawn both made sense to me because I felt both the urge to rebel and the pull to defend something bigger than myself.
Trauma in the Mix
Here’s the part that doesn’t get talked about enough: trauma. It’s there in the military, and it’s there in the subcultures, too. Trauma leaves marks. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s hidden, but it constantly changes you. For me, it meant learning to compartmentalize, to keep certain parts of myself tucked away. It meant feeling like I didn’t quite fit, no matter where I landed. There’s a kind of anxiety that comes with that, but also a stubborn determination to keep going, to keep searching for a story that makes sense.
Still Motivated by Ideas
At the end of the day, I’m an idea guy. That’s how God I’m wired. I chase questions. I dig into the why behind the what. I’m not driven by applause or approval, but by the knowledge that there’s a bigger story being told, even if I’m still piecing it together.
Why “Bad Pastor”?
So, why “Bad Pastor”? It’s not about self-pity or trying to be edgy. It’s just a shorthand for all the ways I don’t fit the mold—patched together from post-punk anthems, military moves, and a few scars that don’t appear in polite conversation. I don’t have the answers tied up in a bow, and I’m not interested in pretending otherwise.
If you’re reading this and you’ve ever felt like you’re cobbling your story together from mismatched parts or living somewhere between the margins and the main event, well—maybe you’ll recognize a bit of yourself here. That’s enough for me.
I love every single one of you and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it!
- Johnie, the Bad Pastor